Part of my job involves routinely writing copy about each state in the union, and why it would be so awesome to spend time in that state. (id est, “Idaho is known as the gem state, and it is a gem.”) Write such a blurb for one state, you’re enthusiastic. Write 46 blurbs, and your imagination begins to chart a course of its own.
So in the course of my research concerning our nation, I discovered that the state of Maryland (my home state) not only has a state flower, a state song, and a state motto, it also has a state crustacean. One can only imagine the glorious day in the Maryland state legislature when the state crustacean – by the way, the state crustacean is the blue crab (was there ever any doubt?) – was voted into law.
Was there opposition? “The chair respectfully requests that the Rock Shrimp please lower his hand, er, claw. The chair can only recognize residents of the great state of Maryland.” Were there pretenders? “The Committee recognizes the achievements of the King Crab, and duly notes that state of Alaska has staked a prior claim – thus obviating any made in these chambers.” Was there chaos? “Seriously, who let Horseshoe in here? Is that thing even a crustacean?”
Oh my god, I still love Maryland. In all its messed up conformity and quirkiness. Is there any other state that has an official crustacean? Or any other state that deserves one?